grocery shopping for beginners

so you've just moved out---or you moved out a while ago---and you're trying to figure out how the fuck are you going to feed yourself. you keep going to the grocery store, but you always feel like you don't have any food in the house. one week, you buy too much food, and it all goes to waste. the next week, you come home from work to make rice, only to find out that you're out of rice and all of the grocery stores closed hours ago. fret not, my dear. as someone who has been living on her own for over two years, i am a certified expert¹ in grocery shopping. on behalf of the 32 bit cafe's "back to school" thingamajig, i'm here to give you all of my advice so you can be the best grocery shopper you can be.² let's get started!

¹ according to the legally invisible board of grocery shoppers

² actually i am bad at grocery shopping, so this is a list of reminders for myself. but hey, maybe you'll learn something as well? /* dies of embarrassment */

part 1: the questionnaire

look. you can't just go to the grocery store and vibe-shop. if that worked out well for you---well, you wouldn't be coming to me for advice, would you? grab a pencil and paper, or your laptop, or your notes app, and get ready to start thinking. here's the questions you're going to want to think about answering:

1. what's in my fridge / freezer / pantry?
2. what's my budget?
3. what's on sale?
4. how much time and effort do i want to put into making food this week?
5. what have i been craving?
6. what recipes do i have saved in my bookmarks / social media apps / that notebook?
7. is there anything i use on a regular basis that i need to restock?
8. am i planning on eating out this week?

part 2: the plan

congrats on answering all of those questions! now you need to use those answers to figure out what the fuck you're eating this week, and how much food you need to buy. you're going to need to figure out 1) what meals you're planning to eat, 2) how many portions these meals make, and 3) how many meals you want to have on hand. i usually aim for ~18 portions of food---this is usually the sweet spot of not overbuying or underbuying for me. ymmv.

sorry, you're still not sure what kind of food you want to eat? well. here's some things you can take into consideration. rice + add-ins (ex. veggies, proteins, even fruit) is a pretty easy formula. you don't have to be a cook for this one---buy beans! veggies! ham! cooked meats! the sky is the limit. i'm also a big fan of calling a yogurt bowl a meal---all you need is fruit. idk man, eat some eggs? season some chicken thighs and shove them into the oven? at some point, you need to start taking into consideration what you like to eat. do you love chinese takeout? learn to make it. or buy it from the grocery store for a fraction of the restauraunt price.

and if you don't know how to season your food...well, there's no need to complicate it. you do not need to assemble a pantry full of seasonings at home. go to the grocery store and look for a container of cajun seasoning, taco seasoning, laab namtok seasoning, garam masala, curry paste...there's so much out there. yes, you can buy your coriander and paprika and turmeric and garlic powder and assemble your own seasonings to your heart's content. however, plenty of companies out there have already done the work for you. take advantage of them. also, sriracha + mayo + soy sauce + fish sauce is a great addition to many-a-meal.

part 3: example grocery shopping.

i've run out of space in my freezer, which is a clear sign that i need to put some of these ingredients to work. i'll add the frozen bananas to my yogurt---that's a meal, and i don't even have to buy anything for it. there's a lot of broth---i'm not interested in soups right now, so i'll cook rice in it. i have frozen cooked chicken---i'll add that to the rice. there's also frozen green beens, but i'm not sure what i'll eat those with. the rice, maybe? i also spot fejoada, heavy cream, and pesto. i'll add the heavy cream to my tea, and i'll defrost the fejoada later in the week for a few more meals.

next up, i look at my fridge. there's a wrinkly onion; i'll cook it. there's shishito peppers---i'll sautee those as well. hey, peppers + onion + rice + chicken is a full meal! that'll get me at least three meals, maybe even four. i have ricotta and pizza sauce; that and green beans sounds like it'd be good with pasta, so i add pasta to my grocery list. i have five eggs left; i don't know if i'm going to eat them or bake with them, so i add eggs to my grocery list to be safe. this prompts me to pull the egg whites out of my freezer---i know i ain't baking with them, so i'll add them to scrambled eggs. i spot a bit of pumpkin puree; i'm not sure what i want to use it for, so i toss it in the freezer. i also see that i only have one stick of butter left, so i add butter to the list.

after rummaging through my fridge and freezer, i've accumulated fourteen meals, most of which i won't need to buy new ingredients for. that's perfect! next, i check my grocery store's weekly flyer. i won't always find a 'good deal,' but i like to keep the discounts in mind. tilapia has been marked down by a dollar---with how little food i need to buy this week, i'm not going to think twice about buying some fish. that (over rice) will get me two more meals, four if i ration it out. i'm not buying much food this week, so i decide that i'll let myself buy something that catches my eye---maybe some frozen burritos---to round out my meals.

1: yogurt + banana 2-4: rice + peppers + onion + chicken 5-9: pasta + ricotta + pizza sauce + green beans 10-11: eggs 12-14: fejoada 15-16: tilapia

grocery list: pasta, eggs, butter, tilapia, 'whatever catches my eye.'

after last week's fridge cleanout, i'm plumb out of things to eat! even the rice bag is empty. my freezer has scotch bonnets, pesto, pandan leaves, lime leaves, thai chiles, and pumpkin puree. my fridge has butter, parmesan, "italian blend cheese," strawberry jam, curry paste, balsamic vinaigrette, bbq sauce, mayo, butter, and eggs. what to do indeed. first off, strawberry jam and pumpkin puree are both fit additions to yogurt bowls; i have chocolate pudding powder that'll be perfect for this. pesto and parmesan will be great additions to pasta; i think i'll add some chicken to it. balsamic goes well with brussel sprouts---it can be a 'side dish.' curry paste means curry! i'll also add some of the scotch bonnets to it; might as well add in some lime leaves too. last but not least, i'll use the yeast and flour in my pantry to make a loaf of bread; i'll mix the remaining cheeses into it before baking. i've had the pandan leaves for long enough that they're annoying me; i decide i'll start using them to make batches of pandan milk tea.

grocery list: yogurt, pasta, chicken, lemon juice, brussel sprouts, coconut milk, curry add-ins (i'm thinking bell peppers, quail eggs, and chickpeas), rice, black tea, heavy cream.

1-3: yogurt with add-ins 4-8: pasta with chicken, pesto, and parmesan 9: brussel sprouts with balsamic 10-16: curry. 17-19: cheese bread.

part 4: welcome to the grocery store

if you've made it this far in the journey, you've probably realized that you're really prepared to go grocery shopping. congrats! here are some things that i typically keep in mind.

• there's no standard for what "organic" means. that's why idgaf about buying "organic" anything.
• grass-fed meats do taste different. they are also more expensive. buy what you want, but don't fall for all the propaganda about how you NEED to buy the healthiest variation of each item.
• store-brand items are just fine---never feel like you need to buy the name-brand whatever-the-fuck. sure, chobani yogurt is good, but my store brand yogurt is also good (and it's half the price).
• check any 'international' food aisles. i've found that the spanish section at my store has small bags of spices---if i only need something for one meal, i'd rather spend $1 on "just enough" than $6 on "it's technically the better value but idk if i'll use it again." also, canned jackfruit is amazing.
• familiarize yourself with your local non-american grocers. they are valuable resources for ingredients that are either unavailable or overpriced in your typical grocery store. they also might have more useful products...i'd rather buy the pre-cut frozen lemongrass from the asian grocery than buy the (rarely available) lemongrass stalks from the regular grocery store. green papaya? yep, it's at the asian grocery store. and if you want bulk fruits---well, a surprising number of places have them. (ymmv, my city is full of asian grocery stores)
• not all coconut milks are created equal. read the ingredients---you're looking for something that's "coconut milk, water, and guar gum" (or something along those lines). i once made the mistake of trying out a different brand of coconut milk without reading the ingredients and it turned out terribly. never again! box coconut milk (or cream) has never failed me, but if you only need a small amount, stick to the can.
• buying in bulk is not always the better value, especially if you're only feeding one person. then buying in bulk creates more work to do in the short run...and that just might lead to food waste.
• at this point in time, checking food recalls and keeping them in mind (at least in the US) is a worthwhile choice...
• if you are a pedestrian, use a backpack and learn how to pack it well. you want to put the heavier items closest to your back. how you pack your backpack can turn a miserable walk with 25lb of items into a "it's heavy but manageable" walk.

bonus round

• tofu is not just for vegans and vegetarians! it is an incredibly versatile, cheap, and filling ingredient. learn to use it well, and you'll be tossing it into anything that you want to stretch a little longer. i like to add it to stews/soups/curries. you can also marinate it and pan-fry it for your rice bowls.
• rotisserie chickens are cheap and useful. learn how to cut it up and you'll get yourself a few low-effort meals.
• keep containers of vegetable scraps and learn how to make broth / stock. freeze it after making; it's a great way to save some flavors for your future self.
• don't know what you're going to use something in your fridge for? freeze it.
• "i have too many random bits of veggies" cook them however you please and eat them with rice. or quinoa, if you're trying to be healthy. hell, add them to a soup. add them to lentils.
• "i'm going to toss these animal bones" not on my watch! use them + your veggie scraps to make broth. freeze them for future broth-making if you must. also, fried chicken fat is amazing.
• q: what should i do with my cilantro stems? a: grind them up with garlic and any other seasonings (i usually do coriander and pepper) to make a paste. this will be amazing on meats.
• q: how can i soften butter asap? a: use a heating pad.